Cold Tonight

I’m back in this mode again that puts me in a bad mood.  It’s the mode that makes me wish I was somewhere else.  The feeling never lets me go.

Tonight, like many nights, I want to go back to Colorado.  It’s not that I’ve failed here (it was that sense that I could succeed in Georgia that brought me here), but that I would feel better somewhere more familiar.  Somehow I could be happier where more people are open and friendly (and not so damn religious).

I thought of a million reasons to move back to Georgia and why I disliked Colorado.  I remember having dry skin and bloody noses every once in awhile because of the climate.  I also remember wanting to be closer to the rest of my family.  Aside from that, I don’t recall just what it was that made me hate that place.  I do, however, now remember what I loved.

I loved the convenience of an independently-owned coffee shop, and a friend to meet me there often, only to sit on cold bricks and bitch about our occupations.  I miss the crisp cold during the winter, which lasts six months.  I recall enjoying my time at college while my wife worked.  I miss the variety of shops and the variety of people in them.  I miss the bums on the corner, along with their hacky-sack.  It’s those little things that I don’t have here that I miss the most.  I feel more uncomfortable here every day.

But I must continue along this wet, sticky path until I reach a crossroad which my situation allows me to travel along.  For now I have a daughter and a wife-student, and I cannot fail.