Can't Say I Didn't Think About It

I've spent some time with my neighbor recently, and discovered that I am slightly envious of him. He lives alone, and is a senior NCO in the Air Force. He is two years older than I am, and he has six years to go to retirement from the military. He seems to have everything going for him and all is in order. Oh, to be like that.

I have battled for several months now about joining the military once more. Sixteen years won't last that long, especially if I choose to enjoy my time. The four years I spent in the Army were very long because I resisted liking anything about where I was or what I did. I want to change that and retire in sixteen years, and then go get a job so I can retire again.

But some things make me not want to. First: the pay. I think I make more now than I would if I went back in, and raises would not come so frequently. Second: I'd have to travel some, for extended periods of time. I have become comfortable being home, especially now that we have a child. When I am gone, I can at least call and be called by the family.

But how else can I get a chance to live in Germany? To have free health care for my family? To go to the gym for absolutely free, and probably find someone to play racquetball with? To have a structured daily life? To not wonder what to wear? To get real-world experience with computers, a security clearance, and probably a $100K-plus job after retirement?

So I'm stuck. It's stability versus comfort. I don't think I'll ever stop wanting my life to be different.