They came around today. I had the same problem today as yesterday installing Java, and finally a message popped up with a solution.
I followed these instructions (please don't ask me to explain the registry key we deleted, because I can't), and Java installed perfectly. Office 2007 went smoothly just now as well. Enterprise Architect is on its way to my system, and I think I might have a fully-functional machine now. Isn't that weird? I wonder if Microsoft reads this blog (they don't) because it seems to be an eerie coincidence that I write about something and they fix it. Also, they don't allow me to write anything to go along with the crash reports like Apple does.
Let's try NetBeans now.
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